Survival without a man is what I will be able to accomplish during my existence on this crazy planet. The reason you may ask, is because today I acquired an essential skill that will enable me to depend solely on myself and not rely on some useless meathead. I learnt how to change Latoya's oil. You know like, getting under the car and shit. Thanks to my father's innovative teaching style, I now possess the means to successfully remove grimy oil, replace the oil filter and replenish the 10w-30 supply. So if I end up as a cat fish lady, as least I will be able to drive to the pet store instead of pathetically taking the city bus. Although, I learnt the hard way that when you are doing tasks such as these, do not wear pink polka dot pj bottoms. Oil stains. Awesome. Maybe I shall purchase overalls or something. But fuck, then I would be even more irresistible. Such is life.
So the roll up the rim current status is 0 for 10. I am fucking switching to ice caps full time now. At least then I won't have the chance of being disappointed. This girl in my class wins every single day. Last week she gave me her free donut ticket. Glad my jeans went into the laundry and I didn't check the pockets.
I also walked into the corner of a wooden cabinet today. Wouldn't be so bad, but this is the second time. The bruise was the size of a baseball. No lie. Guess I am laying off the booty shorts for another month. Damn
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment